Bodyguard (2011) *



I think I will find more readers for this disaster of a review than anything else. Probably for the ‘Salman’ factor. The lover of ‘sallu bhai’ would wanna know what he is upto, the haters would wanna know, ‘now what is he upto?’.

As a person who is slowly warming up to the Salman Khan phenomenon, I would like to say that I went with mediocre expectations but was still disappointed. Don’t go by the promos, ‘Bodyguard’ is not an action movie. Not unless you call Kareena being chased by a toy helicopter ACTION.


The story is actually slightly better than what it finally comes across due to the horrendous direction by Siddique. Salman plays Lovely Singh (seriously…its like directors are deliberately giving him weird names). Lovely is the bodyguard of Sartaj Rana's (Raj Babbar) daughter Divya. Irritated by the lack of space Divya and her friend (Hazel Keech) call Lovely and start a prank love affair. Consequently Lovely starts loving the mystery person Chaaya. Further complications, two bad action scenes and a baccha later Kareena and Sallu are united.

Bodyguard is not a movie. It is something that the director has made to cash on Sallu’s rising star. The actor is used in the most ridiculous manner ever, including songs which go by the words ‘taeu taeu’ a ringtone! On top of that, the songs make no sense. There is no actual love song, sad song, fun song… they are there just like that. Cause hindi movies have songs. And all of them are in dreams because the protagonists never know about each other till the very end. GAWD! There can’t be a tragedy song unless there is a real tragedy….Ridiculous.

On top of that, the director though it would make for good fun to have a extremely fat sidekick of Salman, rolling around and dancing. After all, there is nothing funnier than a fat guy in tights. And if it was not enough then just tear his clothes apart!!!

And did  I mention that the villain points out a hosepipe at Salman’s shirt, which obviously flies off! Did not know if he was doing that to hurt Salman or to molest him.

I think I have said enough…

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