Milk and Baking soda


“I am just like you”, says Penelope Cruz as she stares at our faces from the tube.

“Yeah Sure!”, I smirk. Give me hair that remains perfect 24x7, breasts the size of mount Kilimanjaro, a list of lovers that includes the likes of Tom Cruise, Mathew McConaughey, Javier Bardem among others and an Academy award on my night stand and I would even begin to believe what is being fed to me.

No one is as perfect as the stars are made to look, constantly bombarding the screen with their flawlessly airbrushed skin, gelled hair which takes 3 hours to set and clothes that make their already gym toned bodies look unbelievable. Even they are not. And we know it. Still we are made to look at them and believe that they are and they became so…using whatever is it that they are being made to sell. They earn more money in a year than most of us would in our entire lifetime and so no one really expects to wear, eat, drink or use the same stuff that we do. So when Penelope Cruz utters the words ‘It’s the air colour I was waiting for’ from her perfectly lined lips … it means that it was the contract from the cosmetics giant that she was waiting for. And while we should buy the hair colour she’d endorsing, she’d rather get it done in a ‘celebrity only salon’ sipping herbal tea that would cost more than our monthly house rent.

It’s funny how the premise of major decisions taken by either huge corporation is that ninety percent of the population is stupid, tasteless and thus easy to influence. How else do advertising houses get away with Fairness crème for men ads staring SRK and John Abraham? Katrina Kaif being seduced by a bottle of Mango juice? And Mtv comes up more creative ways of disparaging the very presence of human kind and our levels of intelligence by feeding us crap like Splitsvilla among other works of fart. But what really pisses me off is that we lap it up like starving cats who can no longer tell the difference between milk and baking soda solution. We lead them on…We are the culprits not them. They just find ways of making profits out of our taste which is turning more and more mediocre with time.

Grow up…get angry. I don’t wanna wait for the right hair colour brand with no ammonia to make my hair brighter, oh so soft and transform my life. I don’t wanna waste my time looking at ugly bimbettes fighting over duds who look like wax structures miraculously brought to life. And I am not wearing a ‘I AM STUPID’ t-shirt on me … ARE YOU?

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